Marriage Infidelity
Infidelity in marriage is one of the most serious problems that your relationship can run into. While other marriage relationship problems can usually be overcome by counseling, marriage infidelity can sometimes be a deal breaker. It can make it much harder to save your marriage at any rate. There are different kinds of causes of infidelity in marriage, and the cheater is not always solely at fault, but it is never okay to cheat. Still, once this has happened it has happened. If it is worth saving the marriage, both people will find a way to do it.
Marriage infidelity is not always simply about having an affair. A lot has been made recently about the phenomenon of emotional infidelity. Sometimes, people develop a greater degree of emotional intimacy with other people than they do with their marriage partner. Although it is alright to be emotionally intimate with other people, if that intimacy is not shared with your relationship partner, it can result in some very bad things. It can result in one partner feeling used and taken advantage of, in exactly the same way that traditional marriage infidelity can.
The psychology of infidelity is no simple thing, and the causes very. As a marriage counselor, I have seen it all. Often, marriage infidelity is simply the result of an inability to commit emotionally. Sometimes the unfaithful person is acting out because he or she simply has difficulty accepting how deep and personally fulfilling relationship has become. The cheater feels like he needs to do something to compromise this intimacy. At other times, relationship infidelity is the result of a feeling of entitlement. Sometimes particularly if the cheater had a lot of relationships before the marriage she may feel that she has a right to have other boyfriends. Even if she consciously realizes that she is obligated to be faithful in marriage, on some level she might not be able to accept this.
In my opinion, the most tricky cases are the ones where marriage infidelity is prompted by the actions of the person cheated on. Sometimes, the problem is marriage intimacy. If one person has needs and desires that are not being satisfied, he will eventually go satisfy them somewhere else. Although this doesn't necessarily excuse the cheating, it does help to explain it. Being married doesn't simply mean being faithful to each other. It also means doing what you have to to make a person feel good. When one partner is simply unwilling to take care of their partners needs, it may drive the offended person to acts of marriage infidelity. Because both people share responsibility in some ways, it can be very difficult to unravel and save the marriage. Nonetheless, it can be done.
